


All my demons hide when you smile

by iamalmita



Series: Can you hug me? [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Sad Hyuck, Short and Soft, is this a confession? idk, just mark comforting hyuck, trigger warning for a mental breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:49:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27959435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamalmita/pseuds/iamalmita
Summary: But some days, its just hard. Its just so hard to be here. To exist. Sometimes, its just too much. Everything hurted and he doesn’t even know why.Hyuck's very sad but Mark is always there for him no matter what.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Can you hug me? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632481
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	All my demons hide when you smile

**Author's Note:**

> tw for a mental breakdown, its kinda described well ig? i think so
> 
> thank you to my cousin sis for beta-ing this last minute <3

> _And when it gets hard, its never easy_
> 
> _Its never easy but your arms are so easy to fall into_
> 
> _If I can see you tomorrow,_
> 
> _I will be there just for you._

The night was slowly falling. The sky was a beautiful mixture of oranges and pinks and Donghyuck was walking down the streets with his backpack. He had been walking around aimlessly for a while now, probably an hour or two. His mind was calm yet so full of thoughts. His hair was getting messily tousled by the chilly breeze but he doesn’t bother. The only thing he was trying right now was to not cry. He bit his lips in an attempt to keep his tears at bay and it somehow worked as he swallowed his emotions. He was getting close to his house now.

He was in another country, away from his parents. He missed them, he did but he didn’t want to meet them. Things never went well when it came to his family and him. He could never get accepted by them, always misunderstood by everyone. The sole reason he is alive is because someone loved him, someone cared for him. Okay, maybe not just one but they are the reason he is still pushing on.

But some days, it’s just hard. It’s just so hard to be here. To exist. Sometimes, it’s just too much. Everything hurt and he doesn’t even know why. He hadn’t told anyone about his problems. How his mind seemed to control him and he couldn’t do anything but succumb to it. It was easy to fall into the darkness. He could seek help, he could ask for help, after all he had the best friends ever and he knew he could always count on them. He felt bad for hiding but his friends didn’t deserve his negativity. They didn’t deserve the burden he carried. He was living for them, because of them and that was all that mattered for now. They are already of so much help to him. He needed to deal with his issues by himself.

It was a Saturday and a holiday and he called the day off when Renjun and Jaemin asked him to join them to play games claiming he had an assignment to do. He actually has one, but today was one of those days where everything was overwhelming so he used it as a good excuse to hide somewhere.

Donghyuck stood in front of his door for a while. He was calm now, emotions gone cold. His heart felt so empty and his mind so dull. He opened the door blindly and walked in, not noticing the pair of shoes that were there.

He stepped into his room and heard footsteps.

He quickly looked up in surprise and his eyes met a familiar pair of eyes looking back at him. He didn’t expect him to be here. His surprise died down as quickly as he felt them.

Mark and his beautiful and stupid eyes.

He had a fond smile on his face.

“Hey, Hyuckie. I got us food, you mind if I crash here today? Let’s play games together.”

_He must have noticed._

Mark always noticed everything about him. He must have seen him struggling because even when Donghyuck was quiet about everything, Mark always noticed. Mark, who persuaded his parents to let him come here and study with him, who followed him all the way from home.

Mark’s smile never faded and Donghyuck felt something in him broke.

Donghyuck’s face crumbled in front of Mark and he quickly hid it behind his hands. A shaky and shuddering breath knocked him to the ground and Mark rushed forward, barely catching him. They both end up on the floor, Mark’s arms around Donghyuck’s shaking frame. He was gasping for air and his body was trembling so bad, Donghyuck could feel himself breaking. Whimpers leave his lips unintended and he fisted Mark’s shirt so hard his knuckles almost turned white. He barely registered Mark’s constant flow of words. Mark held him firmly yet gently, tears leaking through his eyes as well as he tried to console his soulmate (that’s what they called each other). Donghyuck’s sobs were loud and breathless, he couldnt control it. His body was acting on its own, it won’t listen to him. Mark pulled away quickly and held onto his arms as he looked at him.

“Donghyuck,” he called. “Donghyuck, please breath. Breath, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck can hear him but he can’t see him. His vision was too blurry with tears. He whined helplessly and shut his eyes tight. Mark’s voice was calm but it wavered at the end. “Donghyuck, can you hear me? Please breath, Donghyuck. Please. It will be alright, I promise. I’m here, Donghyuck. Breath with me.”

Mark was cradling his face now, looking straight at him with a somewhat panicked expression. Donghyuck pressed his palms on Mark’s chest and he can feel his heartbeat. He tried to follow his breathing. It broke midway but Mark encouraged him. He pressed his forehead to his and held onto Donghyuck’s hand with one hand, the other still cupping his face. Mark swallowed.

His hiccups and the sounds of his feeble attempts at taking a proper breath and Mark’s soft whispers fill the silent room for a while. The night had fallen completely and after a few more tries, Donghyuck was breathing properly again. He let out a long breath and felt Mark relax.

Mark looked at him, forehead still against his. His eyes were wide and gaze so gentle, Donghyuck’s heart ached.

“I’m here for you, Donghyuck. I promise. I’m always here for you, no matter what. Please believe me. I love you so much, Donghyuck. You’re never alone. Never. I’m here, Donghyuck. I’ll always be here. I love you. I love you so much.” Mark let a few tears slip down his cheeks along with Donghyuck’s as he closed his eyes and held onto Donghyuck’s hands on his chest. Donghyuck watched him with half lidded, hazy eyes and hazy mind. He clung onto every word Mark said. He held onto them.

“I love you, Donghyuck. I do.”

Donghyuck let his head stoop a little and Mark kissed his forehead and kept his lips there. Donghyuck closed his eyes. He wrapped his fingers around Mark’s and murmurs weakly, “You’re here, Mark...”

“Always, Donghyuck. Always. I will be there.”

A new wave of tears slip past his shut eyes and he held himself back from crying again. He let his arms wrap around the other’s neck and hugged him close.

“I’m sorry, Mark… I love you, too.”

Mark hugged him back, one hand secured tightly around his torso and the other came up to pet the back of his head. “Don’t be. You will always have me.”

Donghyuck allowed himself to be held in Mark’s embrace, allowed his words to repeat itself in his mind.

He allowed himself to forgive himself for once.

> _Because when I fall_
> 
> _I know you'll be there to catch me_

**Author's Note:**

> hello there! this is my first markhyuck fic and nct fic and im very excited! i wrote this in two hour WELP i hope you liked it ^^  
> thank you for reading and have a great day/night <3  
> remember you are loved and never alone no matter what anyone says :)


End file.
